piss.

my mother purchased a dog. fine. (no, not really.) she already has one that she doesn't pay attention to/take care of. i was pissed on today by the older of the two (who is only 1 year old) right after i let them outside. i am going to be arrested for the murder of one purebred puppy.

lots of other things on my mind;
i am no longer comfortable anywhere i am. i do not want to explain anything further than i voulunteer. i hate people. they don't get it. i'm supposed to have a baby in like 3 weeks, but can't concentrate long enough to relax without some kind of unneccesary bullshit occuring. (i have to work, i have to take care of my brother because my mother has other more important things to do, i have to clean feces up off the floor.) all of these things mean i don't have time to have a child. i don't have anywhere to go that is my own. it's been almost a year and everything is just continuously falling apart. i hate these feelings, but have no way of fixing it.

creatively stifled. i want to get away from everything. i want to be fulfilled just once. that's it.